Of Parenting Styles

So my friend Stephen commented on my Avent post and asked me about Stan's and my parenting style. He had watched a show on the Lifestyle Channel about parenting styles in raising babies. I did a bit of internet research and i think the show he watched was "Bringing Up the Baby" (tama ba Step?). The series focuses on the parenting styles advocated by 3 experts from different decades. For the 1950's, the expert was Dr. Frederic Truby King, who advocated a strict routine method. For the 1960's, it was Dr. Benjamin Spock, who is for individualized routine parenting. And finally, for the 1970's, it was Jean Liedloff, for the continuum concept. The basics of these styles are as follows: King - Discipline -- Predictability -- Early detachment of baby and mother -- Order -- One size fits all -- Start as you mean to go on; Spock - Acknowledges individuality -- Tailor-made routine -- Relieves parental guilt -- Balance and Liedloff - instinct -- Based on human evolution -- Community.

So what is our style? Naima feeds whenever she wants to.. it may be every hour-hour and a half (when she was a newborn), to 2-3 hours and sometimes 4-5 hours. Usually, when were out of the house, she goes 4-5 hours. But when we're at home she goes 2-3 hours. I don't do any scheduled feeds with her. Naima also sleeps on our bed so it makes nightly feeds easier on me. Her crib is right beside my side of the bed but she uses it only during the day. At night, we put pillows and her toys in the crib :) while she sleeps in between Stan and me or between me and her crib (depending on which side she'll last feed on). She'll be 6 months on June 5 but she still doesn't sleep through the night. She feeds probably 2-3 times still but since we co-sleep, I don't mind feeding her at night.

At this time, her needs take precedence over Stan's and mine. We schedule everything according to her schedule. We haven't gone out on an evening date since she was born - in fact we haven't gone out to see a movie yet! Stan and I talked about it and we're pretty happy with this set-up as of the moment. We figured, she'll soon be a toddler, busy exploring her new world and won't be interested in keeping us company so we'll just enjoy this year when she can't avoid our hugs or push us away when we smother her with kisses.. hehe.

Stan was also pretty much involved in taking care of Naima from day 1. For the 1st 2 weeks, Stan changed all her poopy diapers. Stan also changes her diapers in the middle of the night, while I catch up on my sleep. He has also been pretty good with playing with her, reading books to her. In fact, I'm really jealous 'cause he can make her giggle and chuckle while I can't no matter what I do!

As for bringing her up, Stan and I listen to our moms, to our friends, our doctors, but we do our own research and talk about what we think is best for Naima and follow this decision. We don't necessarily follow what other people tell us. Also, we don't keep Naima with us 24/7 (i dont' think i would survive!). We're lucky to have her yaya, Bibi, who takes really good care of her (especially when I'm at work), reads to her, perseveres in changing her cloth diapers and putting hot compresses when she has booboos, talks to her, makes her laugh and MOST IMPORTANTLY, doesn't watch TV when Naima's around.

So Step, to answer your question, I think our style would be more of Liedloff. This reminds me of a quote by Dr. Jay Gordon which I really like and try to apply in the way we bring up Naima: "What many people try to do is fit the baby in to their lives, rather than wrapping their lives around the baby."